Living Life Vibrantly And Boldly With The Palins (You Have To Pay For It)

Just when you thought you were safe, the old hooah goes an starts a subscription-based online video channel!!!

Yes, for the princely sum of about one hundred bucks a year, you too can live life vibrantly and boldly with the Palin family. You can ask her questions (where did you get Trig?) and discuss anything you like without the filter of that old nasty mainstream media. This is bound to be a rip-roaring success. I for one cannot wait to sign up. The video shows the vibrant Palin family in action.

funPiper living life vibrantly with her phone

fun1Todd living life vibrantly with his phone. Sarah boldly washes the lettuce!

fun2Sarah with her bold penis jeans and her vibrant toes. I kid you not – she has this on the video.

fun3Sarah going rogue and writing on her hand. Oh you divil you. You are so fecking bold.

Well, that’s enough excitement for the moment. I am beside myself with vibrancy and boldness. I am sure foodstamp Pete and the half-dead Virginian gentleman will see this as a sign that she is running…

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 UPDATE: I having been hanging out on her FB page. Somehow I don’t think this new venture is going to be a resounding success.

moneymoney1money2money3Of  course there a few fools parting with their cash!

UPDATE2: From Mediaite:

money4

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Sarah Palin’s Drunken Word Turd In Denver – Update With Betty Bowers

20Hardy, har, har. A funny thing is happening on the internets. Everyone is questioning Sarah Palin’s sobriety at the Western Conservative Summit in Denver last week. Her manic word turd did not go unnoticed.

David Neiwert of Crooks and Liars wonders “Did Sarah Palin get into Aunty Peggy Noonan’s jar of Magic Dolphin Pills before her speech in Denver?”

We’ve edited down the rambling 30-minute-plus address on Saturday to the Western Conservative Summit, but you can get the drift just a few minutes in. And if nothing else, there were pink Obamas dancing across her teleprompter during the affair, judging by how often she kinda looked at her screen funny, wrinkled her nose, and rambled on.

David has managed to get the speech down to about ten minutes and if you hop on over to the link above, you too can hear Palin in all her glory. He got the best bits!

drunk

Alan Colmes at Liberaland also picked up the story and he wonders if Sarah Palin is okay. The comments on his blog are a thing of beauty.

drunk4drunk5drunk6drunk8

Truthyism had this to say:

At the Western Conservative Summit this last week, Sarah Palin drunkenly doubled down on her calls for impeachment after a string of word soup tailored together from past conservative talking points.  Am I being critical of Palin’s intelligence while she stumbles through this 30 minutes speech by calling her “drunken”?  No.  I do believe that Palin is 99% moron, but this one appears to be a moron that had a few too many to drink that evening before they got up for their speaking engagement.
drunk2

 

The Everlastinggopstopper calls the speech “incoherent mouthbarf.”

File this one under: DAFUQ was that?!??

I saw this last night, and now sudunly i iz dumer.

Seriously, though. I had to watch it twice to make sure it was the snowbilly half-Governor that was wasted, and not me.

DAFUQ means WTF in case you didn’t know. I didn’t.

 

drunk3

 

The Old Redneck has a post titled

Sarah Palin DRUNK . . . video of her speech in Denver last week . . . incoherent, babbling, knee-walking drunk

Listen to her — slurred speech, incoherent.  No sentence makes any sense.  No sentence is connected to the sentence before or after it.  She must be shit-faced drunk . . . on she took a handful of pills before going on stage.

So there you have it my dahhlings… The internet consensus is that Palin was hammered drunk last week while she working and presumably getting paid. That my dears is Palin’s so-called work ethic.

P.S. The absence of trolls on the above blogs is very telling. They can’t defend their drunken queen.

drunk7

 

Update: Betty Bowers weighs in.

Soused Sarah Ssshpeaks to Conssshervativesssssh

 

 

Daily Kos has now joined in…

Finally, Palin walks up to the podium and begins verbally tripping all over herself. She slurs, mumbles, laboriously waves her arms, pinches her words, and sometimes struggles to get from one syllable to another. It’s fun.

She mentions how Obama is the reason for all wrongs, everywhere, always, and forever. So, there is nothing new here. (The woman can lie!) And yes, of course, she mentions the B-word. But in this speech, it’s not really what she says, it’s how she says it.

This is getting to be quite enjoyable. :)

sousedNo wonder she was late coming on stage. They must have been trying to sober her up!

 

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Howard Stern Thinks That Sarah Palin Is Dumb

He is most uncomplimentary about the old hooah. Guess what just appeared on her FB page…

sternI agree with him on the first point about Sarah. I don’t agree with his latest statement. But just how fecking dumb is ole Sarah to not have a clue that he absolutely despises her?

She really is a Republicant. ;)

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Ireland Has A Heatwave!!!

Sorry for the silence, but we haz sun. The old hooah can go to hell for all I care. I can’t resist this pic from her FB page though.

slideApart from the fact that Tawd looks rilly interested in being “OnDutyForJoni,” who the hell puts a slide in that position. Poor Trig will come down it and land on the gravel. It screams photo-op, or else they are just fecking stupid.

I’m off to meet my firearm’s instructor and his wife from Altoona, PA in a couple of hours. We are going on a literary pub crawl in Dublin. ;)

 

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Sarah Palin Fined For Speeding

 

sp3Courtesy of the ADN:

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin said in a phone interview with Alaska Dispatch News on Tuesday that she plans to speak out against oil company-funded efforts to maintain the oil tax structure put in place in January.

“I don’t want Alaskans to be deceived,” she said.

Palin warned against oil companies’ multimillion-dollar attempt to maintain the oil tax structure created under Senate Bill 21, and “allowing crony capitalism to sneak back in our state and result in more Corrupt Bastards Club members.”

Palin was initially contacted regarding a speeding ticket she received in Wasilla on July 16. Palin was pulled over in a black Toyota Tundra pickup with the license plate “LOVUSA” and fined $154 for driving 63 in a 45 mph zone, according to the citation. She said she was driving home from an early-morning bikram hot yoga workout in Anchorage.

“I was thinking, I wasn’t speeding, I was qualifying,” she said.

Palin then weighed in on the repeal of the tax system dubbed Alaska’s Clear and Equitable Share, her signature legislation signed into law in 2007 that brought the state billions of dollars in windfall income. ACES was replaced by Senate Bill 21 in January.

Palin has remained largely silent on the dismantling of ACES, and on Alaska politics in general. In May, she defended ACES during an interview  on the “Bob and Mark Show,” a radio program that airs on Anchorage station KWHL.

SB 21 was introduced at the beginning of the 2013 Alaska Legislature by Gov. Sean Parnell, Palin’s former lieutenant governor who took the governor’s office when Palin resigned in 2009.

SB 21 provides a more favorable tax structure for oil producers that supporters say will encourage investment and opponents say will cut billions from the state’s coffers without any benefit.

Voters will decide for themselves between the two tax laws when a referendum on SB 21 appears on the primary election ballot Aug. 19.

Glad to see that she doesn’t want Alaskans to be deceived! That will be a first for her. ADN has the audio of the conversation.

 

 

 

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The Republican Response To Disasters

Palin appeared on Hannity last night. This pair of yahoos are discussing the reaction of President Obama to the national and international crises.

At around the 1.30 mark, Palin says…

How different it is. Ronald Reagan called out evil. He certainly didn’t ask for flexibility or boast about needing wanting flexibility um when and er a relatively evil man were to be in office. Such a difference in the mindset of the  presidency then than now.

Make of that word babble what you will. However the fact of the matter is that Reagan did not act without delay. Courtesy of Daily Kos covering Jon Stewart last night:

Yes, Reagan!  St. Ronnie dealt with a very similar situation in 1983, when the Soviet Union shot down a Korean passenger plane off the coast of Japan.  I’ll never forget how he responded.  How did he respond?

KT McFARLAND (7/19/2014): Reagan was at the ranch in California.  He immediately came back.KATE OBENSHAIN (7/17/2014): Rushed home from Santa Barbara vacation.

JOE SCARBOROUGH (7/21/2014): He immediately came home … immediately be briefed … immediately get moving forward and condemned the Soviet Union in the strongest terms possible.

Immediately!  Plane crashes, they go to tell Reagan about it, and they’re like, “Wha….?”  He’s already gone!  The scent of aftershave and jelly beans, the only thing lingering in the air.  (audience laughter)  How did he spring into action so fast?  To this day, nobody knows, but we know what happened next.  Reagan took all of Russia’s missiles, twirled them up single-handedly and threw them into the Sun.

CHRIS WALLACE (7/18/2014): I was covering Ronald Reagan at that time.  He was in Santa Barbara at his ranch when this happened.  And quite frankly, he didn’t want to leave.  And his advisers realized how terrible this looked and eventually persuaded him he had to fly back to Washington and had to make the speech to the nation.  But it did take him four days.

What?!  (audience laughter)  Yes, Reagan’s response to that catastrophe was so special, so remarkable, it was enough to make us forget what actually happened.  (audience laughter)  Which is that Reagan grudgingly cut short his 25-day vacation after being caught on camera riding a horse.  (audience laughter)

But you know what?  Don’t take my word for it, let’s read from his actual diary about the incident.

Friday, September 2nd The Soviets shot down a Korean airliner with 269 passengers, 53 of them Americans, including Congressman Larry McDonald.  We were due to return to Washington on Labor Day, but realized we couldn’t wait.  We left on Friday.  It was heartbreaking — I had really looked foward to those last three days.

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Punctuation, Reagan’s.  Yes, Reagan was in deep mourning for losing the final 12% of his vacation.  In fact, in 1988, when the U.S. accidentally shot down an Iranian airliner, also under Reagan’s watch, Reagan refused to end that vacation early.

And Huffington Post has this to say about Joe Scarborough’s insistence that Reagan returned immediately…

Brzezinski pointed out that President Reagan was on vacation when Korean Airlines Flight 007 was shot down by Soviet forces in 1983, and he did not make a speech for four daysJoe Scarborough adamantly insisted he was right during an exchange with co-host Mika Brzezinski on Monday’s “Morning Joe,” only to admit later that he was “wrong.”The two were discussing President Obama’s response to the Malaysian plane crash in Ukraine. after the crash. Scarborough, despite Brzezinski’s protests, argued that Reagan “immediately” responded.

“He immediately canceled [his vacation], immediately went back to the White House. He immediately canceled fundraising events and campaign events,” the MSNBC host said.

joe

At least they didn’t try and pretend that George W. Bush responded immediately to Katrina.

Bush-guitar

 

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God Called Me Today – Rilly!

I got a very unexpected phone call today.

tumblr_lklxxpA3GY1qf8ylvo1_500Yes, it was God calling. He said something about trying to contact Sarah Palin, but her Blackberry wasn’t receptive to calls from God, only the Koch brothers. I can tell you that he was fairly pissed off. He had heard all sorts of rumours in Heaven that Palin was running around the place telling a load of nutjobs that God wanted to impeach President Obama.

He denied this very adamantly and wanted to know WTF did she mean by him not driving parked cars? He is fecking God and can drive anything he wants. In fact, he has an Audi and it has automatic driving for parking. We have an Audi too – I think that it why he contacted me. He did go on about driving rather a lot and insisted I share this video. I only got through twenty seconds of it, so don’t feel you have to slog through the whole lot.

Anyway, after sharing the “virtues ” of the Audi, he returned to his original complaint. It was  “a he said, she said” sort of thing, but he was fecking ripping about this.

“This president’s forgotten man is we the people, and we the people know that our best days are still ahead because we know that God shed his grace. He’s given us our freedom to do what’s right. God doesn’t drive parked cars. I think he expects us to get up and take action in order to defend these freedoms that are God given. I think it’s an affront to God to let this go on because he gave us these freedoms. We’re not going to let someone, a person, a party take them from us. We’re not going to dethrone God and substitute him with someone who wants to play God.”

He let me know in no uncertain terms, that Sarah Palin does not speak for God. He advised me to let her know that he would like to see her more often in church and hear some heartfelt prayers from her. About others and not herself – he stressed that. There is a lot going on in the world at the moment and if she could only find it within her black (my word) heart to reach out to the poor and unfortunate, and those blown out of the skies and blown to smithereens in Gaza, then she might stand some sort of chance of redemption.He did seem to think she was a lost cause though and mentioned something about the eye of a needle.

He told me he was a liberal – huh, I knew that. He supports Obama – GO GOD!!! He hates war – feck McCain.

hookerHe has always forgiven prostitutes.

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