Up there in Oregon, which I think is just below Washington and on top of California, a merry band of men are fighting for your freedom(s). They are in desperate need of supplies to ward off the cold and the famine.
What better than this little treat for them to chew as they merrily cut their way through federal property.
Haribo Gummy Bears. They must be sugar free. That is very important. Do not forget that!
This product has been getting amazing reviews on Amazon. Here is an example…
I didn’t feel the need to plan my weekend around 5 small gummybears. But if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. It began with a noticeable change in the viscosity of my saliva. Within minutes of consumption, my mouth had filled with a thick foamy slime. Though I was in a cool climate controlled room a salty sweat broke out, and I felt my heartbeat quicken as my body threw itself into fight or flight. The animal noises broadcasting from my pelvis were an ominous warning of the violent acts that were to follow. I shouldered my way into the bathroom, clawing at my belt, moaning with pain. The smell came first. It started sweet, almost tangy. That was quickly overpowered by a cloying chemical perfume. The first volley of feces hit the water like soda cans and nickles. The resulting splash drenching my bottom in foul brackish water, but this was quickly becoming the least of my worries. After another moment, the noises in my core hit a fever pitch and I was struck rigid with pain. The sweat was now running into my eyes, but the room had turned ice cold and my hands began to spasm. I felt an insidious burning flooding my escape hatch. I gasped. Hot yellow poison began spraying from my rear, changing in pitch and echo as the stream of diarrhea whipped around the toilet bowl, creating a nightmarish Doppler effect that can only be appreciated in hindsight. My legs fell asleep sitting on the toilet. I couldn’t have stood up if I wanted to. Wiping was a no-go. Toilet paper simply became a vile paper mache’. My hands were quickly soiled. A full blown shower was needed, and all of my towels had to be burned. So happy with my purchase, would recommend to friends and definitely buying again!
Please send big bags of these to…
Bird Brain’s Sanctuary
Oregon (near California)
[H/T to that bloody dog who keeps leaving poo on my blog]