Roddy Doyle’s Thoughts On Speaking American

Courtesy of Roddy Doyle (Facebook):

tRump3

-Yeh know these Syrians?
-Yeah.
-Well, I don’t think they should be let into the country.
-Wha’?
-Until they can speak American.
-Fuckin’ wha’?!
-Your woman from tha’ top bit of America – .
-Sarah Palin.
-Yeah. Well, she’s dead righ’. An’ Trump as well. You should listen to him. All these years the Spanish have been tellin’ us they speak Spanish, an’ they’ve actually been speakin’ Mexican. The shifty fuckers.
-Hang on – wha’?!
-An’ the Portuguese have been speakin’ Brazilian.
-Hang on – I need a fuckin’ map.
-But the worst – no surprise, really. The English.
-They haven’t been talkin’ English.
-No.
-They’ve been talkin’ American.
-Yeah. Accordin’ to Sarah.
-The fuckin’ bastards.
-Shakespeare me hole.
-Hang on, but. What do we talk then?
-Shite.
-The Irish talk shite?
-Fluent.
-So we’ll only let in people tha’ can talk shite?
-Yeah.
-Well, there’ll be no fuckin’ shortage of candidates.
-We have to be generous.
-And you know who’ll be at the front o’ the fuckin’ queue?
-Who?
-Trump an’ Palin.

Roddy Doyle's photo.
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3 Responses to Roddy Doyle’s Thoughts On Speaking American

  1. 40Watt says:

    Fuckin’ savage! [ Scottish translation: “Thon wis the berries!” ]

  2. 40Watt says:

    I was thinking though you might attract some really cool people – (pity he’s fallolopped in finitely)

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