I Got A Peek At Sarah Palin’s Address To Cambridge Students

 

Hi UKIP and Cambridge,

Don’t you just love my big assets. If you think Innan Shev…Shevamajinadad 😉 has a lot to offer, then you ain’t seen nothing yet. I don’t believe in polls, but if Jill Hadassah’s back isn’t broken by March, I’ll fecking show you what feminism is all about and you can stick a few dollars in my knickers anytime. All donations to SarahPAC *greatfully* accepted.

It is all about not letting the little fuckers scramble all over your still spine. You’ve gotta be strong and you’ve gotta believe in the big gulp. That’s right ladies, you take it lying down or standing up, cos that’s what the little ladies are taught. And that is what being feminine is all about. Just don’t be noisy about it. Bristol let me down badly in that regard. Oh, the shriekin’ and a hollerin’ was balls to the wall embarrassing for a fiscally constitutional conservative like me…and that was only her labour pains on a multitude of occasions.

Being a Christian, and a commonsense one at that, I love the Star of David also and too. And let us not forget about healthcare. You limeys will rue the National Health Service. Next thing you know, they will have death panels for your dogs. You have got to be strong and definitely not impotent. Holy cajoles, just lie back and think of England.

And fucking guns, where the hell are they? In my country we have millions of them. We shoot kids, moms and dads and brothers and sisters. We especially like taking pot shots at those who are not like us and not from the real Amerikkka. I don’t want to be too obvious, but ——> country of Africa springs to mind. It is near Russia.

 

Oh and I nearly forgot, what does David Cameron have on the menu when he invites me to No. 10? I don’t want any of that yucky caviar stuff. And no siree…I am not into fine cheese and wine. Take that gorgonjaminahdad away, it stinks!

Truck, Barstool and Wallow would settle for a clubbed halibut and a brawl or two.

Is Mrs. Thatcher still dying to see me?

Love

Sarah Palin XOXOXO

Oh I forgot, he, who eats *dead* dog meat is a radical, muslim socialist pallin’ around with golfers. Savannah Guthrie is a Lena Dunham lovin’ liberal commie/comic. David Letterman is a pedophile.

Levi Johnson is RICKY HOLLYWOOD.

SCREAMS fade into the background and Todd drags her away…

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30 Responses to I Got A Peek At Sarah Palin’s Address To Cambridge Students

  1. ProfessorCanine says:

    You’re on a roll there,IG.
    Poll,or Pole?

    BTW-
    I have the song for when she hits the pole……

  2. irishgirl999 says:

    I’m having second thoughts.

  3. aussiebluesky says:

    You had me at “Hi UKIP”. 😀

  4. psminidivapa says:

    I have many friends in the UK and Ireland (waving madly at IG and her DD). i can tell you that ALL of them would RELISH the opportunity to see Sarah attempt to speak to Cambridge students as they ALL think she is an idiot-as does the British/Irish press. I am certain that Cambridge has invited Sarah as an attempt to add some comedy to the debate series.(and that the students can not wait to ask some hard ball questions)

  5. psminidivapa says:

    Too much gin, I reckon. LOL
    Had Tom and Joes breakfast today and thought of you.

  6. irishgirl999 says:

    I give up. Kindle has a Palin brain.

  7. So glad you weren’t rebricking the chimney or painting the outside of your house today. It would have been a shame if this hadn’t come to fruition. Well done !

  8. Sunnyjane says:

    Good one! The Brits will not understand a word she says.

  9. anonymous! says:

    Hilarious Austin!

    We got to see the Rill $arah after the SNL 40 , where she , of course, true to her inner pit bull avatar, started sparring with the hecklers.

    What a Moran!

    During said altercation, she actually said,
    ““Are you in show business? Then don’t be jealous, boy,” Palin responded to one of the hecklers. “Hey, when you get a job, you can talk to me.”

    Ok $arah, now you’ve come full circle from the dream you had when you lied to Todd,
    and drove to worship at the feet of the execrable Ivana Trump

    And there, at J.C. Penney’s cosmetic department, was Ivana, the former Mrs. Donald Trump, sitting at a table next to a photograph of herself. She wore a light-colored pantsuit and pink fingernail polish. Her blonde hair was coiffed in a bouffant French twist.

    ”We want to see Ivana,” said Palin, who admittedly smells like salmon for a large part of the summer, ”because we are so desperate in Alaska for any semblance of glamour and culture.”

    http://www.adn.com/article/20080902/alaskans-line-whiff-ivana-april-3-1996

    THAT is the real $arah Paylin. The Queen of Narcissism above all else, wants what she thinks is glamour and culture, and is willing to consort with librul lame stream Ricky Hollywood Libtard trash to get even 5 minutes of TV time!

    Fame whore, grifter Pac, glamour Granny, and anorexic methHead drunkard Paylin!

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